My cats make me want to say bad words.

This is a post about our cats. They are driving me crazy. Here is a list of irritating things about our cats:

1. They hate cat food. Come on, it's NutraNuggets! They are always eating our food. They climb into the sink to lick our plates, they knock the butter dish on the floor so it opens or breaks so they can eat the butter. They tear holes in trash bags to get to chicken carcasses. On the upside, I have to be very prompt and neat around the kitchen to avoid being driven INSANE!
2. They destroyed my Christmas Tree, and half of my decorations. On the upside, I had very few glass ornaments to wrap and put away this year.
3. They love to sleep with the girls. At first I thought, hey, as long as they don't sleep with me... But, the kids hate it too. I get cries in the middle of the night, "Get the cats! They are on my bed!" And then I spend half an hour in the dark trying to get the stupid cats from under beds or out of corners. Then, when I finally have cats in hand, the girls won't let me close their door! If I lock the cats in a room somewhere, they mess on the floor. If I put them outside, they come to the door meowing to be let in a few hours later.
4. They use a lot of toilet paper. Apparently, the nice beds we made out of sacrificed movie blankets are not soft enough. The cats unroll a whole roll at a time, and then make a bed out of it. I can wash my dishes, and I can take my chicken carcasses out, but I can't hide the toilet paper! We have too many girls who gotta have toilet paper.

Abigail said to me the other day, "Mom, we should get rid of the cats. They mess a lot of things up." I told her that now they are part of the family, and we have to take the good with the bad. And, I must confess that seeing a cat patiently being wrapped in blankets and wheeled around in a dolly buggy all afternoon gives me a tender spot. So, while they make me want to swear frequently (for those of you who know me well, know that is a BIG DEAL!), they will be here a long time.

Until we have a chance to get them fixed, I am just praying that we don't end up with kittens. Heaven Help US!